the amazing exploits of millionaire man
For those of you who don’t live in Utah and don’t have any idea who Larry H. Miller is, let me clue you in. He owns the Utah Jazz basketball team, about a bazillion car dealerships, shopping malls, movie theater megaplexes, a chain of sports apparel stores, a local sports arena, and tons of other stuff. Basically, he is the Utah version of Boss Hogg.
I have ranted about him before when he pulled Brokeback Mountain (which I still haven’t seen and still have no desire to) from one of his theaters and then didn’t have the balls to admit why he did it.
Anyway, he also is the owner of Miller Motorsports Park and while it’s hard for me to come up with something I find less interesting than watching cars going around and around really fast, Deanna was given some tickets to see some bigwig from a client’s company race one day and we decided to go. Partially because it was an executive suite with free food and partially because it was made clear it would look good for her to be there. Luckily the whole thing was pretty fun because it was a beautiful day, it was a new thing to do, and I really like some of her co-workers (but the food was horrible, nuff said about that).
Anyway, back to Larry H. Miller and why he bugs me this time. When someone gets to be a multi-millionaire like him you can expect that he needs to have his ego stroked from time to time but Deanna and I were amazed at the sheer amount of ass kissing we witnessed at this place.
First of all, everywhere you look you see his name, his picture, or a sign advertising one of his business ventures. It is more like a shrine to him than a race track. But what really had us rolling on the floor were the guys giving the play by play on the PA system during the race. They spent as much time talking about how great Larry H. Miller was and all the wonderful things he has done. Even right in the middle of the races! I got the feeling it is in their contacts that His name must be spoken every 2 minutes or they will be fired on the spot.
I swear to God, I was waiting for them to say something like “Ya know, that was an exciting lap but not as exciting as that time Larry H. Miller saved 12 babies from a burning building and then went directly to a toxic chemical plant and prevented an explosion that would have wiped out half the state! Just wanted to say thanks, Larry.”
I realize I will probably notice shadowy men following me around and tapping my phone after posting this but that’s a price I’m willing to pay for enlightening my readers. It’s just how I roll.
January 7th, 2007 20:31
You’re on the edge, man. Taking risks, walking tall–watch out!
Yeah–money does funny things to people. Speaking of funny, isn’t there a funny comedian by the name of Larry Miller?
January 7th, 2007 21:13
Why yes there is but I love Larry Miller the comedian.
January 9th, 2007 20:08
Damn! Some day you will realize how great of a man Larry H. Miller is. Oh yes, you will rue the day you made light of Larry H. Miller! Mark my words.
June 25th, 2007 06:46
I agree with you, Larry H. Miller is a joke!… I mean a JERK.